The past two years I have been struggling to build a system that would help me make progress. I failed over and over to outline and stick to a process. If I’m honest with myself, there are many reasons for this but the overarching one is that I don’t have any long-term, meaningful goals.
Oddly enough, I’m pretty confident in my purpose in life which is informed by my Christian faith and that is God has placed me where He has to love and serve my neighbors. This guides my immediate actions in that I know what to do in a particular moment. If my co-worker is struggling with a bug I help her as I can. If my daughter needs her homework checked I do that. If there are dishes in the sink I help my wife by washing them.
Where I stuggle is those free moments. The time when I could/should be working on the side-project, learning something new, or producing content that could help someone. I don’t know what I should be doing so I endup watching something on Netflix or playing some iOS game. Then later I’ll look back angrily and lament the time I’ve wasted. Occassionaly and stupidly, this frustration bleeds over into causing me to avoid the immediate and obvious items (washing dishes, etc).
Last year I read a bunch of books and listened to a ton of podcasts trying to find a direction or theme for what I’m doing to go beyond the basic yet important day-to-day activities that serve my family, friends, co-workers, and church and find some bigger goal(s) that integrates those activities and adds other meaningful ones. I can’t say that I was successful. In fact, it frustrated me so much that I’ve taken a break from direction and goal setting books and trimmed my podcast subscriptions to cut out shows that focus on those topics.
Where does that leave me? The title of the post. I’m not sure where it comes from; if lighting will strike, but I desire something to happen because this stagnation is not where I want to be.